HUSBAND JOKES.

1..Husband: I look at the stars, the stars are beautiful.Then I look at you. I rather look at the stars again.

2..Husband: Good looking people r hard to find.wife:That’s why you don’t see me often.

3..Husband: When u feel sad. To cheer up just go to the mirror and say, “damn I am really so cute” u will overcome ur sadness. But don’t make this a habit. BCozliars go to hell!

4..Husband tells his girl friend , “come home tomorrow, no one will be at home.” When she goes the next day to his home. There was NO ONE at home!
5..Wife : ” I wish I was a newspaper, so I’d be in ur hands all day.”
Husband : ” I too wish that u were a newspaper, so I could have a new one everyday.”
6..If your dog is barking at the backdoor and your wife is yelling at the front door,who do you let in first? The Dog of course. At least he’ll Shut up after you let him in!
7..husband : I always hold my wife’s hands .Guest: so nice of you husband(in his mind):If I let go, she shops.
8..When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, You can be sure of one thing: either the car or the wife is new.
9..I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary?“ She said, “Somewhere I have never been!”I told her, “How about the kitchen?”

10..She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, “Am I too late for the garbage?“ Following her down the street I yelled, “No, jump in!”
11..A couple came upon a wishing well.The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled & said “It Really works!”
12..A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating,”Why did you have to die?Why did you have to die?”The first man approached him and said, “Sir, I don’t wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I’ve ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent? “The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, “My wife’s first husband.”